As you read this, please listen to LMFAO’s song, “Sexy and I Know It.” (Trust me, it’s more fun this way)
In my travels around the world, I’ve seen a lot of lovely women: ethereal beauties grace the streets of Norway, adorably stylish girls decorate Ireland, sophisticated mademoiselles paint France, and a saucy mix of femininity fills the USA. Watch out, beautiful nations–you’ve got some competition in Central America.
One cannot judge a country of women together, but it appears that the Ticas all carry the same checklist. Follow these tips and you too can become “Costa Rica Sexy.”
1. High heels
These girls strut around pot holes, over uneven sidewalks and even onto buses with poise. I once saw a woman get onto the bus in five inch stilettos, with a baby on her hip. The bus started moving before she sat down, and I instinctively braced to catch her! However, this sexy señora was sure-footed; she could probably do cartwheels in those pumps.
Since I’ve had kids, my shoes have morphed into anything flat and squishy–amigas, it’s time for a makeover.
2. Tight clothes
I come from a culture that demands, “If it’s not perfect–cover it up!” Not so here, my friends! They’re sexy and they know it. As a newcomer, I was shocked at all the celebrated curvaceousness, but over the months, I let go of my prudish preconceptions. I now want to shout, “You go, girl!” to every woman I pass. They love their bodies and they’re not afraid to show it.
I mean, here’s a picture of one of their average mannequins, and we all know mannequins represent the general public, right?
Your average pants:
And a lot of…
3. Make up
I get on the bus as the only gringa, and simultaneously the only woman without eyeliner. Sometimes I catch a Tica “putting on her face” while on the bumpy ride into town and I wonder how she can manage to trace those lids with such precision. Her face becomes a work of art. She mimics the erotic eye detail of the ancient egyptians, lines and glosses those naturally luscious lips, and shimmers her already sun-kissed cheeks. She’s sexy and she knows it…
So, let’s check our list:
-Have we elongated our height with heels? Check.
-Clothes cleaving to our curves? Check.
-Face no longer a blank canvas? Check.
Don’t forget your…
4. Nail polish
This is a big one. If you go out in Costa Rica without a french mani & pedi with a heap of sparkles and designs, you’re not fully dressed. All these towering heels require something stunning to show off! The average woman has twenty opportunities to add color to her digits, and every nail is razzle-dazzled in this country.
Time to heighten the senses. Walking in a crowd of Ticas is like strolling through a florist shop. Don’t waste your time in a perfumery when the scents are publicly on display! If you happen to catch a particularly pleasing fragrance in the air, just close your eyes and follow your nose to the source and discover it’s identity. These ladies are probably used to being stalked anyways.
If all else fails, and you still don’t feel sexy, try this crafty Tica tactic…
6. Make sure your bra is showing
Gone are the days when the bra is to be worn under the clothes! In Costa Rica, you can be sure to catch a glimpse of a woman’s lingerie if you’re looking for it, and what’s more sexy than undergarments? Even the word undergarments is sexy. Undergarments!
The mujeres of this country remind me to walk with my chin up and remember that I am beautiful just for being a woman. Even if you think you have too much or too little in one place–you are female, a thing to be celebrated (sorry, men–but we’re awesome). It’s not that the women of Costa Rica are more attractive than any other race–how could one compare the many individual beauties of this world? No, it’s that they have that extra something, that total confidence in themselves that draws the heads to turn. Self-assurance is magnetizing, and their aura is powerful.
Thank you, Ticas, for being proud of who you are and empowering this gringa to re-enter that bus with a little of your sassiness, even with a baby on my hip. Please be prepared to catch me!